1. A beer will not get angry if you come in after 2am. 2. A beer is always wet. 3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer 4. You can share a beer with your mates 5. A beer always goes down well and goes down for you whenever you want it to 6. A beer will not throw things at you when you come home with beer on your breath 7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer 8. You can enjoy a beer all month long 9. If you poor a beer right you will always get good head 10. Hangovers go away 11. When you have finished with a beer the bottle is still worth 5 pence 12. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good 13. You always know if you are the first one to pop a beer 14. You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty 15. When you go to a bar you know you can always piuck up a beer